Take Happiness Into Your Own Hands

Our default human operating system is often to avoid responsibility and give our power and happiness to those external to us.

Be real. Be true. Be you. Here’s how to take happiness into your own hands.

There is a construct in psychology known as “locus of control”. Locus of control is a theory in personality psychology, referring to the extent to which individuals believe they can control events that affect them.

Many people live in an “external locus of control”, ie. they believe their behaviour or outcome is guided by fate, luck, other people or external circumstances. People with an internal locus of control believe their behaviour is guided by their own personal decisions and efforts.

If we are going to be the change we want to see and take happiness into our own hands, this thinking needs to shift. Our power and happiness need to be determined by ourselves and no one else, ie. an internal locus of control and when this happens, the circumstances will never be the cause for our power and happiness, we will be.

By breaking free from the self-monitoring cocoon so many people experience every day, in order to fit in and belong, you must connect with a purpose that deeply inspires and aligns with you.

You can do this by embarking on a process that helps raise your level of SPIRITUAL (SQ), EMOTIONAL (EQ), ADVERSITY (AQ), CREATIVITY (CQ), PHYSICAL (PQ) and HEART quotient (LQ).

The diagram below is designed to capture the essence of what STAR aims to achieve, which is to provide a compass that people can use to take happiness into their own hands, and ultimately to transcend themselves.

We use the symbol of a heart to represent inner peace, happiness and harmony, the result of being in integrity to self and the effect of living with healthy boundaries. In our coaching methodology, we also always aim to come from heart, from a place of unconditional acceptance of what is, unconditional positive regard, and genuineness, the optimal conditions for change to happen. It also represents the “Anahata”, or heart mind, the mind that strives toward awakening empathy, and compassion for the benefit of all sentient beings.


This is a metaphor for the unfolding process you are about to begin. It aims to capture a person sitting in a lotus position. A lotus flower is rooted in mud, and when it grows, it blooms into a beautiful flower that rests above the water and is open to the sun. In the same way, when an individual begins any self-development work, they are rooted in the mud as part of the mundane world, but as they progress, they can grow into a blooming flower. The Lotus pose is considered by many to be an archetypal yoga posture. The arrangement of your hands and feet in the pose resembles the petals of a lotus flower. 

This pose is used to help encourage proper breathing while grounding the individual and creating physical stability. It also connects the mind, body and spirit. Overall, it helps change the metabolic structure and brain patterns to create balance, harmony and alignment (grounding) throughout the body. It has the power to settle your nerves, awaken your energy, and quiet your mind.

I’ll leave you with a beautiful quote by Daisaku Ikda, a renowned Japanese Buddhist philosopher, and I assure you that happiness truly is in your own hands.

With love your coach, Savannah Steinberg

“The gratification of desires is not happiness. Genuine happiness can only be achieved when we transform our way of life from the unthinking pursuit of pleasure, to one committed to enriching our inner lives, when we focus on ‘being’ more, rather than simply ‘having’ more.”

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